Death...

Life is strange... at a time when we are supposed to rejoice in Syawal for the good deeds done in Ramadhan, I am faced with a minor setback - grams is diagnosed with lymphoma.

I know grams is prepared to face death in the eyes... but are we prepared to lose him? Just when I am getting to know the quiet man who had tirelessly brought up 10 kids and 28 grandkids (and counting) to be dignified citizens of this world, he might be gone...

Through out my stay at grams', I've observed and learned the subtle gestures of kindness and appreciation he has shown me. A pivotal moment was when he extended an unexpected hug in appreciation of my being there with him and grand ma. This coming from a man who speaks little; he is a strong advocate of "Action speaks louder than words"...

All I can do for now is be strong for him and gradma... not to mention be strong for myself, especially since I have developed a deeper love for both of them... Staying with them was the best decision I've made and for that I've attained the peace and tranquility my heart desired.

Please extend your prayers to a man who deserved all the blessings this world could give. My only wish is that he leaves with a cleansed soul and if it means suffering in this world in order to attain that state of peacefulness in the hereafter, then God is All-Knowing. Amen.

You truly have lived if you can stare death in the eyes & welcome it -Anonymous

Farewell to thee...

As I watched the plane destined for Delhi took off in the morning sun with the soft breeze caressing my face, my heart was filled with mixed emotions - on one hand, it is a sad parting of a father figure I never had. On the other, he is embracing a whole world of oppurtunities for the betterment of his family. As they say, "Great things await a great man" :)

So please allow me to pay tribute to a man who guides me, inspires me and above all, teaches me the true meaning of being human. A father figure who took good care of me at work, who always have the time to lend me his listening ear, teaches me the meaning of patience and understanding. A man who shows me different perspectives in any situation, who teaches me to see the big picture. The workplace won't be the same without him... I wish his family and him well and hope that our path will cross one day as my heart and mind refuse to say Good bye...

We will often find compensation if we think more of what life has given us and less about what life has taken away - William Barclay

Getting To Know U & Me

My sis-in-law seems like the sister I never had. Was pleasantly surprised that we hit it off the moment we went out on our first 'sister bonding' outing last Sunday. I truly empathise the state she is in - a foreigner in a foreign land, away from home and missing her family just after 2 weeks being apart; with a husband who promised to quit smoking before marriage but... we'll see when Ramadhan beckons... so stay tuned! - I dun envy to be in her shoes although I wonder how married life would be for me.

Right now, I am determined to put grams back to his old good self. The good news is the doctor's is prescribing less steroids considering that his blood test result came back positive, Alhamdulillah! With me working during the day and rushing home to try and do as many household chores at gram's as possible, I really pull my hats off to those working mothers who are truly professionals - juggling work, family and some even excelling in a part time course (SUPERB!).

Throughout my time at gram's, I 'see' more of grandma and grandpas' personality. There was one incident that really touched my heart, it was a simple act of love, but huge impact nonetheless (as you can see I am a 'sucker', ha!). I reached home and grandpa put up a mirror near the dressing table in the room I am staying. I immediately noticed it and told him how delighted I was. Bear in mind, grams is a man of few words and for him to see the delight in my eyes, he was silently pleased. He said, "Didn't know you would noticed it" ...

On another occasion, grandma takes the time to make breakfast for me every morning. Otherwise, she will buy from the block next door. As you can see, they do not have to do so but just the thought that they are trying to make my stay there as comfy as possible, makes me feel appreciated.

Throughout the week, I do take the time to call my sis, Anisah, to see how she is getting on and sometimes I sense the 'loneliness' in her voice and she misses me and yearns for my company back home. Soon, Insya Allah... I miss my cat too :(

"Adoption"

Was it a case of a joyous occasion turned 'bad' or is there a reason for the way things turned out the way it did? I prefer to think the latter. I learnt alot about the 'unconditional love' and the 'spirit of the mind' throughout the ordeal I went through with my family the past 2 weeks.

My elder brother got married on 26 August with a nice lady from Trengganu, Malaysia. Grandad was the 'best man' for the groom or in the case of the Malay tradition, the groom's lead representative. Although he is over 80 years of age, he has the sheer determination and mindset that would put some 30 year olds to shame.

He was not in the best of health, yet he 'hid his pain' to save us from immense anxiety throughout the journey and hectic activities in preparation for the 'big day'. Truth be told, Allah is kind and 'revealed gram's little secret', causing 'shock waves' from Trengganu to Singapore!

Throughout the ordeal of accompanying him back to SG and straight to Changi General Hospital ICU ward then normal ward, I realised the love he has for his kids and the resilience only those pre war era would have. This incident not only brought me closer to grams, it also brought me closer to Allah.

Now grams wants me to stay with him and grandma for good and I am torn between my own immediate family (not to mention my cat) and grams... I have yet to give him my answer. No matter what, there is nothing like being in the comforts of your own home... I miss my cat and my bedroom back in Simei. I missed checking my emails, surfing the net and having a tv set I can call my own.

I have yet to discuss this with mum... Meanwhile, happy birthday mum!

"When things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts.

We usually will get what we wanted, just not in the way we had imagined as we don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

May your days be blessed and may God cradle you in the palm of His hand... "

Which Path?...

The Path (returning to the forgotten path)

The struggle to keep our hearts pure lies to how much we look forward to the Day of Reckoning, preparing ourselves in anxiety and gracing ourselves with as much humility we can carry, like a needy peasant summoned to a Bounteous King.

Looking forward to The Distinguished Meeting is what keeps us going, knowing that with every step taken towards it, there can only be either right or wrong. What determines this is what our hearts intend.

Our hearts are inclined to purity, desiring good for every step we proceed. But alas, we distract ourselves with the temporary splendours along the path and fail to keep in track, even with the maps that serve to assist us. Hence, we taint our primitive inclinations, falling into misguidance.

The determinded traveller is the one who has his destination in vision and as he voyages through the winding paths, continuously humming in ethusiasm and good spirit, chanting the Name that serves as a fuel, as the goal he longs to reach, the home he longs to return to.

True devotion is for itself: not to desire heaven nor to fear hell. - Rabia el-Adawia

The end of knowledge is that man comes to the point where he was at the origin. - Shaykh Abu Yazid al-Bistami

Life Transformation

Its been a month since I updated my blog. For the past month, I underwent a 'transformation'. After attending religious talks with my aunt and listening in on the inputs of the wise, I decided to strengthen my resolve and welcome the calling of wearing the 'hejab' i.e. the head scarf.

I had been toying with the the idea for the longest time and after finally putting it on, I felt a sense of relief. I knew that this time round, I am doing the right thing and it will be a permanent fixture in my life.

5th August, when I walked into my office, there were mixed reactions and Alhamdulillah, I managed to educate my peers on the need for the 'hejab' and was glad that they respected my decision.

From here on, there will be minor adjustments to be made in terms of my lifestyle - capoiera, rock climbing, scuba diving, etc. Frankly, what are these 'minor inconveniences' compared to the closeness I feel to The Creator, Allah. Subhan Allah! To my Muslim brothers and sisters who are reading this, pray for my well-being, Amin!

Love for Family

"Three Weeks with My Brother" by Micah & Nicholas Sparks was a heartrending read. I never knew that it could touch the depth of my soul, causing me to tear in public, consumed by the 'moments of despair' they felt during their trials and tribulations surrounding their beloved family. They have my utmost respect and admiration! This book inspires me to start thinking of writing my own book about my life (it just shows that everyone goes through the same struggles in life and you gain strength just by learning how others cope with similar situations)... Let's just say it could be my minor contribution to humanity? Hmm... worth a thought :)

In some ways, I wish I had an elder brother like Micah and a little sister like Dana (I never knew how it felt like to have a sister) I also wish that I grew up having a father like Nich ... but I believe there is a reason for everything as to why God made things the way it is now, Alhamdulillah!

Anyway, I am taking small steps to spend more time with family - had a great brunch with my younger bro and aunt recently after giving moral support to my bro for enrolling into teaching - a noble profession; attended religious classes with my aunts and cousins (I sincerely want to be closer to God and be a better person), etc.

Of late, I was bothered with the unfair treatment mum gave us, esp my younger bro and I (she always had a preference for my elder brother, which can be 'nauseating' and hurtful). I know that nothing in this world is fair although I wonder do I really have to live with it? I was glad I could pour out my 'grievances' to my aunt Z and she shares my opinion that whatever mum is doing for elder brother, is not gonna help him in the long run... We hope she realizes that she is doing him more harm than good. For the love of this family, I will try to muster enough patience and try my best to live with it.

God works in miraculous ways - there must be a reason as to why I have not started my own family. I could not fathom being away from home; mum could easily have an emotional breakdown given the lack of initiative of my elder brother, the 'head of the family' after my parents' divorce. Sometimes I just wish that somebody else in the family can carry/share the 'burden' I'm carrying.

From this experience, I learnt that marrying the right guy is really crucial for the sanctity of the household - he has to (in order of priority) have a strong faith, be committed and responsible to his family first and have a heart filled with unconditional love (ooh can hear some of you cringing, "She's asking for too much!") Well, this is my blog, right? :P

PS: Thanks for a wonderful chat over coffee last week, J :)

A Wonderful Weekend

What a day! Woke up at 5.30 am and got ready to catch the sun rise at Labrador Park with some close pals (hitch a ride in a Merc from a pal staying in the east... arrive in 'style');

At low tide, Labrador Park has some magnificent soft and hard corals and surprise find - nudibranch! (who says you have to dive deep to appreciate God's gifts?) Had a good chat with Jo and then headed for breakfast... Labrador Park brought back nostalgia of my primary school days as well as the 'ghost stories' of ex colleagues who were nurses staying at the nursing hostel during the post World War 2 era... hmm something out of the ordinary routine on a Sunday, beautiful!

Then headed for badminton session at Toa Payoh - verdict - good game after a long while. Headed home and rest before heading to gram's (mostly to discuss about bro's wedding plans). Had a good chat with my aunt over nice hot chng tng, yum! Was excited about my house renovation which is starting real soon. Also had the 'car talk' with an uncle... gonna shelf this car purchase plan till next year... indeed!

Wouldn't it be lovely if I just don't have to go to work the next day...

PS: Congrats uncle Z on the new 'stock' ... 29 cousins and counting...?

The Family Way

I am almost finished with Tony Parson's "The Family Way", very enlightening! I learnt about pre-eclampsia, premature babies, vasectomy, reversed vasectomy, etc which led me to conclude that if you want to start a family, its better earlier than later (or never!) But most importanly, I learnt that family values are universal. Tony really knows how to pull at your heart strings and reading his book is a blast!

Today is a special day, celebrated V's birthday and did alot of catching up. I am so happy to see her finally getting a hang of motherhood and family life. Its flattering that she thinks I will make a great mother... some day. I hope not to disappoint anyone, especially myself but first I must get me a responsible man to begin with (haha, how's that for a dash of humour?) :P

Ok as usual when women gather, the usual question they ask singletons like myself is, "So are you seeing anyone?" Well, I've been happily dating but no serious commitment for now (the last one was traumatic and I need some time to grieve and recuperate.. what can I say, am an emotional schmuck sometimes!)

Anyway, can't wait for Rye to lend me a book he is currently reading "A General Theory of Love" ooohhhh.. I actually recommended him to read "He's Just Not That Into You" first if he is ever to understand the psyche of women's fear (here that, guys?) and make his moves on a certain someone... wonder how that is progressing...?

Balance in LIFE!

A close pal shared this story (thanks KS)... It'll hit the core of your conscience. Then another friend told me that his daughter passed away during a road accident and the greatest regret he has was not spending enough time with his daughter before...

His wise words to 'workaholics' like me...

'What I do today is important, because I will never have today again'

While all aspects of our life are important, without a balance, you become addicted and like all addictions you lose:
· No balance with your family - you lose them
· No balance with your work - you lose your perspective and you actually lose focus on the important aspects of your job.
· No balance with yourself - you forget who you are and when you retire you have nothing! Or worse than that, if you lose your job through a company sale or downsizing you lose your identity.
He went on to tell me that who we are is NOT what we do to make a living. Who we are is a balance of our family, our work, ourselves! It truly was the best advice I ever received."

"When you go to work...
1. Look at what you have on your desk
2. Make a list of everything you have to get done
3. And beside that list write the impact of not doing it
4. Then focus only on the top three items that have the most impact.
5. Do that everyday for a week.

At first, you will find it difficult to leave. But, after awhile, you will find that you will have more energy, and you will be more focused in your work because you have BALANCE! There are times when we have to lose balance- a special project at work, or a family matter at home but
consciously focusing on balance keeps everything in check."

"Balance of Life" - important for us ALL!

Reunions

June seems like a pretty busy month for me with many unexpected activities and I am not talking about the Great Singapore Sale, mind you. I visited one month old Gen and caught up with some dive buddies there. It was heart-warming to see the softer side of CY, the natural way he interacts with kids. He's gonna make his future wife proud :)

I also met my former uni mates for the yearly reunion. This is something we hope to keep on doing for the longest time. It's great to see how we progress from those days slogging for our Bachelor, juggling full time work and part time studies. Regardless of the grades we got, they have my respect, especially those with family (for their endurance and perseverance).

I met my cousin from KL who is preparing to get married to a guy from the 'upper crust' (so happy for her) early 2006. Its amazing how some people seems to have it easy but I know she prays really hard to get to where she is now. I wish her all the best in her future PhD course as well (something I hope to do in the near future as well).

I managed to lobby some pals to volunteer and support the career change of an ex colleague - I wish her well in her spa training. I corresponded with a dear friend in JB... glad to know that he still dives and that we will be exchanging pictures. I caught up with my potential business partner - she'll be going China soon for business trip and I hope that she can do some research on stretchable cotton.

Last but not least, I never envisioned a simple coffee session with an ex colleague (whom I was not close to back then) to lead to walks along Orchard Road and a nice conversation over dinner (he was gracious to pay for it, what a gentleman!). It started with supposedly handing him the lawyer's letter (our former company was going through liquidation) and one thing led to another... didn't know we could click coz he was too quiet for my liking. From one session together, I got to know the real Rye, which was great. Wish him well with his 'pursuit' (can't wait to hear updates).

That's all for now :)

True Believer

This week was a special week, in remembrance of "Precious's" birthday... Its been a while since I spoke to my pals whom suddenly been 'missing in action' for the longest time; missed them. I can't complain coz I have been pretty busy myself - exams and work.

My dive buddies just got back from Layang-Layang, damn! (that was part of my dive wish list which I have yet to fulfill). Here's an extraction from their dive log:

The reef there is definitely the healthiest I've seen so far - Density of corals and sea fans were just amazing. The lagoon dive yield all the smaller stuffs like pipe fishs, lion fishs, flounders, flathead, nudibranches, resident octopus, cleaner shrimps, moray eel, crab, hermit crab and many more. Big fishes are in abundance there and is the main attraction.

I can't stop thinking about the big encounters. During the relaxing check out dives, we saw 3 hammerheads and at least 1 on subsequent days. I also saw my first Manta! The DM said it's not yet the season and it is also his first time to saw Manta in Layangx2 for this year.

On the 2nd day there is a school of devil rays (~28 of them) flying in the ocean sky. There are also schools of 9 & 5 devil rays in the next day. Plus 2 marble rays, huge schools of jacks, GT - all the big stuffs!

Anyway, I hung out with friends at Original Sins over dinner, partly as a farewell to a dear ex-colleague who will be going back to Malaysia for good and also partly to celebrate the closure of IKS matters - the food was exquisite as always... that place brought back fond memories as well... enought about that!

I also managed to take the kids from Melrose Place to watch "Aga-Boom" at Downtown East. Not only was it a time of fun for the kids, it was also a time for a few laughs for my own sanity - It felt good.

I also got down to getting quotations for my home renovation done, finally! With the exam for my first semester over (Alhamdulillah; thank God!), I got some quality leisure reading time. I bought a few good books - Nicholas Sparks "True Believer" & "Three Weeks with my Brother", Tony Parson "The Family Way" and Paul Coelho "The Alchemist".

Next week, I will be meeting up with a close pal to celebrate her birthday as well as visit one-month old Gen :)

Its been less than 6 months at my new job; enjoy the company of peers; at the same time, I need to reassess my priorities in life... remember the 5 most important things!

P.S.: Happy b'day J & Des.

Sweet Genesis

Friday the 13th seems like a blessing for a close friend of mine - she successfully delivered a wonderful baby girl! Genesis, that's her name - already she sounds like a spirited gal with strong lungs :)

Reflecting on this incident, I wonder if the government's policy, rather incentives to lure young couples to start a family early really works or is it just a mere coincidence? Anyway, I knew there and then when I held little Genesis in my arms that I have lost my scuba diving buddy - her mum; sad but a true reality.

After the hospital visit, had a brief chat over coffee with another gal pal. She is contemplating getting married and starting a family while her biological clock is still ticking. Then there was me, yup... what will I do?

Frankly, I don't know what lies ahead. All I know is that I am happy where I am right now, spending more time with grams and mum, redecorating my home sweet home and toiling through my studies. But at some point in time, I knew that I have to be less selfish.

Recently, over lunch, my colleagues who noticed that I've been 'spending late nights' at work asked, "What about your social life?"; I was stumped coz I didn't really thought about it. Yeah, what about it? For now, I'm happy going on casual dates (its not the same as casual sex, mind you!) without any exclusivity and to be honest, I like it. No strings attached while spending some clean, good fun catching up and exchanging ideas with the male species.

What I am driving home is that its not easy finding a good man; simply someone who is responsible and less selfish than I am (its a bonus if he's intelligent and has a cute butt). Over coffee me and my gal pal concluded that although it sounds cliche, having a man who is financially stable is practical (less complication). No longer are we, err especially women over 30, disillusioned by the notion of love. Interesting, eh? Think about it girls...

PS: Happy birthday, Daph!

Stylo Milo!

Being an analytical person, I am a big fan of Human Science Behaviour. When a pal of mine shared this personality test with me, I immediately had a go. Verdict: It was fun.

Personally, having a go at such tests will help you understand yourself a little better (with 10-20% discounted for a dash or reality, ha!):

Learning Style
Knowing your style means you:
1. learn faster in lesser time (efficiency)
2. use relevant learning aids to improve learning (quality)
Take the test and view the style description

Left or Right Brain Dominance Style
Knowing your style means you:
1. understand how the brain processes information (awareness)
2. strengthen your less dominant brain hemisphere (for balance)
Take the test and view the style description
You can view the style whole brain theory as well.

Personality Style
Knowing your style means you:
1. understand your strengths & weaknesses (intrapersonal)
2. learn to interact better with other types (interpersonal)
Take the test and view the style description here or here

Have a go, experiment & have fun :)

Education

Nothing drives me more than learning a new knowledge and I get to do what I love through my course at UMass Boston. I'd recommend this part time course (or the full time course by Carnegie Mellon) to anyone keen to pursue a profession in Education/Instructional Design.

The beauty of this profession is that we never stop learning a new knowledge. I remember a friend telling me, "I'm like a walking dictionary with 'useless' information". In this KBE era, an affinity towards lifelong learning is a necessity to remain current. As individuals, we must proactively chart our career path before we are forced towards employment restructuring.

That brings me to my next point. I have countless plans to diversify my skill sets (so that I can realise my dream of becoming a freelance Subject Matter Expert/Lecturer by 45):
1. Complete my MEd in Instructional Design (curriculum development skills)
2. Complete my ITPM Certification (improve efficiency in my job)
3. Take up a Grad. Dip. in Info-Communication (IT & Multimedia knowledge)
4. Take up MSc. in KM (for a wholistic perspective of the industry)
5. Take up a MA. in Education & Human Development (HCM knowledge)

Besides pursuing a secular education, I am also looking forward to:
1. Nourishing my soul with more knowledge (be a better person for all)
2. Spending more time with my family (neglected them earlier in my career)
3. Doing more for charity (for causes close to my heart - children & the elderly)
4. Starting my own sideline business (as a hobby for 'rainy days')
5. Settling down & being the best mummy I could ever be

At the end of the day, I want balance in my life by maintaining a healthy body, mind & soul as well as leading a fulfilling life. Is that too much, you reckon? ;)

To buy or not to buy

Work has been great these few weeks; wonderful colleagues, great lunch sessions. To add to that, one of my ex-colleague will be joining me in Feb (he's really talented and will be a great addition in the media department). Work is slowly piling up but thus far manageable (no time to update my blog but it sure feels good to have that "Pay Day" feeling again!)

Alhamdulillah, its been a good start to 2005 - Badminton sessions, gathering at cousins' place, planned diving trips, trekking and I can revisit my plans on Caftan, Kurta, etc (my business partner is esctatic! We're going KL in Feb.) I met *Precious* just this week and had a good catch up session (glad she is enjoying volunteer work just as I am).

On the home front, I am closer to mum and younger brother and its a nice feeling. My elder brother is getting married this June and the whole family (relatives included) are excited to go up Trengganu, Malaysia to attend the wedding (the bride is there; I'll have a sis-in-law soon!)Younger brother is goading me to get a car so that, I quote, "I can drive you to work, sis, once I start at NIE"... rite!. Although, I am keen to explore getting a Toyota Vios or Suzuki Swift, it seems unnecessary given Singapore's good transportation system... Still considering.

What do you know?! My first blog for 2005. Will end my blog with a nice poem (thanks, Nic):

The Wind In My Face
I am at my best with the wind in my face,
When overcoming the challenge, with pace.
The pace that requires more effort, more strength.
But once gained momentum, endures with great length.
It's easy to sit back, placid and calm
Comfort is only a relative balm.
It seems an advantage, better than strife
But is dulled by stagnation, stifling life.
Progress needs movement, energy, drive,
No chance for improvement if you do not strive.
Nothing's for nothing: cause and effect.
That which you work for, you've more chance to get.
So give me the wind, let it blow in my face,
The more I confront, the more strength I'll embrace.
Steps are not mounted, nor challenge o'ercome.
Without certain courage or effort be done.

Sipadan-Kapalai

What breathtaking view above and underwater. It was a more relaxing dive for me this time (I didn't puke for most of the wall dive!). Its true what CY said, "You get to see big stuff at Sipadan and small stuff at Kapalai". The only disappointment was no hammerhead as planned, although CY snapped a picture of a baby hammerhead caught by Tawau fishermen and sold for $1RM at a fish market, bah! :(

Am looking forward to the New Year Diver's Gathering next week (since I missed the Christmas gathering being away) to get all the photos we took for the dive trip. Also during this trip, I learnt to trust my instincts and free my mind from being judgmental. I learnt that you don't get to see the entire perspective to a situation hence dont be too quick to judge (thanks LG for the advice). As they say, "Accept what you can and cannot change. Knowing the difference is true wisdom".

Was glad I finished reading "Angels & Demons". Verdict = it was not as thrilling as "Da Vinci Code" but an interesting read nonetheless. Found out that the group I went with shared my reading interest (HB is reading Tony Parson's "Man & Wife" while CY is reading "Da Vinci Code"). I will get either "Deception Point" or "Digital Fortress" next *excited*.

Found out that one of my colleagues, err ex-colleague, is doing his open water dive at Koh Samui (Rye, hope you'll enjoy your trip amidst the tidal wave from Sumatra earthquake; glad you are ALIVE!). Am also quite worried about another ex-colleague who is back in Chennai, another area affected by tidal waves (Arun, hope to hear from you soon).

With the end of the year coming to a close, I pray that the new year will bring a brighter future for all. As for me, I can't wait to start work at my new place (Mum is right, when you have faith and stay close to Allah, he will guide you) Alhamdulillah. The entire 2004 has indeed brought me closer to GOD and I am thankful, Amen :)

Man & Wife

A real story about the way most men think. Am so glad Harry decided to work things out with Cyd. Reflecting on "Man and Wife", I realized most men are hopeless romantic but ain't it a challenge, trying to get the constant high doing the 'chasing' all the time?

At some point, you've to learn to come up with ways to fall in love with the SAME person rather than changing partners (now that takes creativity which only the intelligent can muster? ah...) Maybe mum is right, "If you marry for the right reasons (religion in particular), you'll never go wrong."

Am about to start on Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons", a book recommended by Syafiq. Will bring this book along my dive trip to Sipadan, wohoo! It'll be 4 days of blissful diving - 2 days at Pulau Sipadan Resort and 2 days at Kapalai Resort. Will update you on the verdict but am sure will enjoy it there :)

Was so glad to have met some new faces (catching up with old pals too! Looking at the tiny bump, V, am so happy that you'll be a mum soon! I'll pray that baby and mum will be healthy and fine) during a recent bbq gathering at Jo's. It's funny how you can have a roomful of strangers and yet have great conversations. Key = common interest i.e. DIVING! Happy birthday to the 3 lovely ladies :)

I am looking forward to the new year and new opportunities ;)

PS: Guys, lunch at Saravana Bhavan was grreat! Hope you like the pics we took.

Verdict: One for my baby

"Its funny. You love something and then one day it's suddenly gone or changed or lost forever. But somehow that doesn't stop your love. Maybe that's how you know it's the real thing. When it doesn't come with conditions and get-out clauses, when it doesn't have a best-by date. When you just give your love and never stop giving it, and know that you never will. That's when it is real. That's when they can never touch it or spoil it or take it away from you." - Tony Parson

Tony Parson's "One for my baby" validates my belief about love - Let your love be stronger than your hate and anger. Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break. In short, love like you have never been hurt coz its not what you lose when a relationship/friendship is over, its what you gained while you had it (a similar concept to the half full, half empty glass theory). I am currently reading his "Man and Wife". Let you in on the verdict soon.

Talking about compromise, sometimes we are so prone to accusing others of causing injustice to us that we fail to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask ourselves did we acted against our conscience or against our professional code of conduct to be treated in an unfavourable manner. Yes, its human nature to always point an accusing finger at others. Someone say "only the insecure would" (well, to hide their insecurities of course!).

I learnt that the strong ones do not go about feeling bitter about the small stuff (remember, don't sweat the small stuff?) but look at the big picture and reflect on how we can contribute to make things better instead of falling into the anger or apathy trap. I guess it takes maturity and not everyone grow and learn at the same pace (how true!).

But the funny thing is, through all these tribulations of late (its manageable, Alhamdulillah), I learnt who I can trust, who are ever willing to protect me and that matters alot to me (I feel really blessed - thanks guys - you know who you are). I learnt that when you stay close to Allah, Allah will stay close to you and whatever that happens in life, it was planned by the Almighty (there's a reason for everything) to bring me closer to my faith and I am ever grateful for that test (it shows I am still loved, Subhan Allah!)...

Idulfitri 2004

This year's Shawal was special as the extended family picture below was one of the rare moments where we could gather everyone for a family portrait (then again, my aunt Sofurah and family were absent in this picture)

Also this year, I managed to coax Boy (my Siamese cutie) to have a family portrait on 1 Syawal (ain't he the cutest?) Upon reflection, although this year was rather 'solemn' as there was no hustle bustle of making raya goodies or shopping for clothes, it was one of the most fulfilling Ramadhan I had and I am thankful to GOD for what I managed to accomplish thus far.

Now that the holy month has passed, I have to focus on getting my career back on track. At the turn of event, I pray that Allah shows me the way to a career that pleases him. And Subhan Allah (God is great), out of the blue, my aunt Zulia asked me if I was interested in a position that her HR friend has to offer. Syukran (thank you)! I was open to opportunities (thank you, Uncle Zul, for the referral).

An ex colleague (thank you, LW) emailed me a note regarding "Love your job but don't fall in love with the company as you never know when it will turn its back on you"... how true. I end this blog by thanking everyone for their well wishes and encouragement during Syawal :)